Author Archive

American Adoption Statistics

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

I thought this was a really interesting article– and one that really took me by surprise.

The CDC looked at recent adoption figures and says that men are two times as likely to adopt than women. The report says 2.3% of men and 1.1% of women in America have adopted. My initial thought was- men often marry women with children and adopt them as their own. And I love being right… that’s what the article says! Another trend that appears to be rising is adoption by same-sex couples. Since gay women have the option to carry their own children, gay men have no other choice but to adopt if they want a family.

Another statistic this article points out is that black Americans are more likely to adopt than white. The broad majority of both black and white adopters would accept a child of another race.

Here’s a snippet from the article about the “ideal” child women would like to adopt:
“The CDC survey asked women seeking to adopt what they wanted in a child. The preferred child is younger than 2 years old, free of disabilities, and is an only child. Women would prefer to adopt a girl rather than a boy.” That said, 90% would accept a child with minor disabilities, 79% would accept a child aged 2-5, 75% would accept siblings. More than 60% of women would not take a child over the age of 13, nor would they take a child with severe disabilities.

These are interesting facts. More so to me as the adoption conversation is one that has occurred more and more frequently. We agree that we want to be parents, so if we find our way to our baby through adoption or IVF, we’ll be parents either way. Adoption would possibly satisfy our urge to be parents much more quickly. Given the government rebates and employer reimbursement- the cost to us would be minimal. There’s still a lot of soul-searching to be done… it’s something we’ve always talked about doing even before the infertility. I think we’re set on a course now for actionable decisions though.

Two New Babies

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

I love celebrating new babies. We seem to do that a lot lately between family and friends squeezing out babies like they’re worth a tax deduction.

Oh yeah, they are!!

Some very, very dear friends of ours were laboring on Labor Day and delivered twins!! The Swarts are now a family of five, thanks to boy/girl twins Riley and Hailey. They are teeny tiny, both just under six pounds. The best news, is that they are HEALTHY!! For having twins, it was a fairly uneventful pregnancy and I couldn’t ask for more if I’d carried them myself.

We met The Swarts through my cousin, on one of our many infamous camping trips. While it was blazing hot outside that day, the A/C in the car on the way to the lake was frigid, so I put on my little pink cardigan. We’d also brought our little Shih-Tzu, Tibet. So when we arrived at camp, I climbed out of the car in a cardigan with my frou-frou dog. Mikayla couldn’t believe I was there to camp. But I proved I’m one hell of a camper, and so is my little dog! It’s a cherished friendship we’ve enjoyed ever since.

Most infertile couples don’t want to hear about some successful couple just looking at each other and getting pregnant, much less with twins. (For the record, infertile couples think that’s how the “rest” of you have babies…. you just sit in the same room and stare at one another!) Personally, I love celebrating it. I love that one more couple didn’t have to experience this. That their blessing, and in this case blessings, came without the trials and struggles that we face. More than anything, it gives me more hope.

I haven’t gotten to see these little cuties yet, but you bettah-bulieeeve I will snuggle them simultaneously the first chance I get.

In other news…. I get to meet my new niece tomorrow night. She’s 3 weeks old now and I’m just going to spend 4 whole days soaking up her newness.

Infertility Blogs and News

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

I found a great site today that features more than 100 blogs, Web sites and news sources all related to infertility.

I’m sharing this with you for a few reasons:
1. That’s what I do.

2. I think it’s a really valuable resource that you should know about.

3. They told me if I told my readers about them, that it would be “particularly persuasive” for them to add Baby Or Bust.

So, the site is called Alltop (meaning “All the Top News”), and they simulate this same feed for dozens of topics like the aforementioned Infertility, and Adoption.

Another resource that I recently found is called Wise About Health, and they also have a dedicated space for featuring sites related to Pregnancy and Infertility.

It’s a Niece!

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

About 18 hours ago we welcomed our new niece into this world. Her name is Tilton, and long before her birth we’ve been calling her Tillie. She’s a perfect and healthy 7 pound, 7 ounce, 20” bundle of girly joy. She is what we call “the golden child.” The first girl in a family of all boys. I can tell already that she’s got daddy tightly wound around her teeny tiny finger.

Her parents just “had” to move to the other side of the country so we were not able to be there. We are nonetheless elated with the news and anxiously waiting the first pictures.

We could not be happier and send congrats to them!

Six

Monday, August 11th, 2008

I’m a little delayed in posting this, but you’ll have to excuse me because I was in a love-drunk fog yesterday. It was our anniversary. The sixth one. We’ve said “happy anniversary” to one another six times. My mom said it best when she told me “Isn’t this like your tenth?”. To which I replied “no.” She then said, “Well, it feels like it should be.”

WE ARE NOT THAT OLD MOM!!!

There are days when I feel like Shelton and I should be celebrating our golden anniversary; beat each other with our canes and wash each others dentures in the morning before making a breakfast of soft foods. There are also days when I feel like I’m just recovering waking up from my wedding reception.

This goes down as one of our most memorable anniversaries. It was simple and romantical and Shelton did a lot of sweet things. We ended up with a 3-day weekend and just soaked up every minute we could get together. We talked about the good, the bad, the ugly and what lies ahead. A small gift to Shelton was a box of chocolates from a local artisan chocolate shop. Each year on our anniversary we try to give the “traditional” wedding gifts. It’s always something random and a somewhat loose interpretation of what the list suggests. The sixth anniversary is candy- so we enjoyed the chocolates after our dinner at home last night.

I am so in love with this man. Like most married couples, most days I don’t see it and it takes an event to force my eyes open. Yesterday was one of those. I am thankful for his friendship, his love, his commitment, his patience, his honesty and his ability to always make me feel loved and appreciated.

What really struck me was that it was another anniversary without children. We don’t need babysitters to go out and celebrate. We don’t have to sacrifice the romance of our day because the kids want to watch SpongeBob and eat hotdogs. The most distraction we have is the dog snoring under the bed. When my mom was celebrating her sixth anniversary she had had her third child six months prior.

We had a lot of talks about becoming parents and starting a family. Reassuring one another that we will see that day… and many more anniversaries.

Good News Times Three

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

I have some fun and exciting news.

No, it’s not a baby.

First, I’ve been invited to be a featured blogger at Wellsphere’s new pregnancy community. Wellsphere is a wonderful health community with a huge focus on dieting and weight loss. They are expanding their editorial offerings by creating a pregnancy community. This is a site that I’ve followed for sometime and definitely give a thumbs-up for its credibility, thoroughness, friendly people and inviting layout. I’m beyond flattered that I was chosen to be a part of starting the pregnancy community. Looking forward to getting started and will certainly share with you when that happens.

Second, well, I can’t really tell you. Another invitation to be part of a writing project and I’m quite humbled by the invite. I think this is the largest writing project I’ve ever taken on. A lot of lost sleep and second-guessing myself. But I’m really pleased with where things stand now. Will fill you in when I can. Wink!

Third, I paid off one of my student loans. A small one mind you. I still have the heaping behemoth that keeps me bound at the ankles to Uncle Sam. The woman at the OU bursar congratulated me and I actually welled up with tears. (Imagine that, me crying!) I put myself through college. I did it on my own and I’m paying it back a few pennies at a time on my own. If you don’t mind my saying so, I’m really proud of what I’ve accomplished in the four years since graduation. Paying that off is a huge milestone for me and will allow us to shift that payment to the heaping behemoth.

Thanks again to all of you who frequent the site and send emails. I’m glad you’ve come along this journey so far with me/us… and looking forward to taking you on the rest!