Frequently Asked Questions

Our answers to many questions we’ve already been asked, or assume we’ll be asked. Don’t find something you’re looking for- just give us a shout.

So, when are the two of you going to have a baby?
OK everyone, you can stop asking now. Because it sucks when you ask and we have to paint these big fake smiles and pretend we’re indifferent when it comes to this baby thing. When you see the BIG GIANT post announcing our pregnancy, that’s when we’re having a baby.

At this point, we plan to begin our first round of IVF in February 2007 (coming to a womb near you). Hopefully by then we’ll have raised the funds necessary.

return to top

What is In Vitro Fertilization?
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a technique in which egg cells are fertilised outside the woman's body. IVF is a major treatment in infertility where other methods of achieving conception have failed.

return to top

What is ICSI?
Intracytoplasmic sperm injection is an in vitro fertilization procedure in which a single sperm is injected directly into an egg; this procedure is most commonly used to overcome male infertility problems.
This is the procedure we will use.

return to top

Why the Web site?

  1. We knew we needed a fast and easy way to earn the $20,000. We thought this would be a medium that would allow us to get our cause noticed, be interactive and provide some insight for other couples.
  2. If you’ve ever been through IVF yourself, you know that the resources available are usually very textbook, and don’t offer a lot of tell-it-like-it-is insight. We wanted to offer that insight.

return to top

How did you come up with the cost of $20,000?
As we’ve quickly learned, no two infertility stories are alike. Which means, no two bills are alike. There are so many variables involved that play into the cost.
The estimate we were given by our doctor’s office was $15,200- for ONE round of IVF (that’s assuming it’s works the first try).
We figured by aiming to raise $20,000, we could cover the estimate, plus any unexpected costs. Also, the money earned on this site will be taxed AND PayPal and Amazon.com each take 2.9% + $0.30 of every payment processed… this will cover our hineys.

return to top

Why not adopt?
This is something we've given a lot of discussion to. And someday we hope to adopt. We feel like we have to at least give this baby a try first, so that we don't ever look back and regret it. Both of our families have been on both sides of adoption- it is a beautiful, selfless act and one day we hope to bring home a perfect child of our own that way. Thank you for the many kind e-mails regarding this subject.

return to top

Why not wait a few years to start having kids?
Boy, are we lucky we started thinking about this now. We are in our prime years for conception, especially when it comes to the health and viability of egg and sperm. By the time we turn 30, our chances will have dramatically dropped. And 40? The chances are even slimmer.
When we first started trying, we were just excited about the prospect of being young parents. Now, we know that mother nature is working against us, and we’re doing all we can to beat that race.

Our advice? Start thinking about your own parental desires and fertility before it’s too late.

return to top

When did you know there was a problem?
We’d been trying to conceive for 17 months (a lot of that time had been both active and non-active pursuits) and things just weren’t adding up. Brandi comes from VERY fertile stock, I mean, impressive fertility here folks!
I finally asked my family practice doctor, Dr. H, during a regular visit if he thought there might be trouble. Dr. H suggested I start monitoring my ovulation via BBT (Basal Body Temperature). Five months later I returned with ovulation charts that proved my ovulation was on track. That’s when the attention turned toward Shelton.

return to top

So, what’s the deal? Why can’t you have a baby?
Well, since we’re in the sharing circle… we are in the 25% of infertile couples that suffer from male-factor infertility. This means, the source of our troubles lies with Shelton.
His first semen analysis came back with a count of zero. Dr. H told us the lab tech asked him if it were a post-vasectomy sample. That’s when we knew there was a bit of a problem.

Shelton went through a series of, um, interesting exams and tests and they found that he basically has a natural vasectomy. The Vas Deferens, which carries the sperm out of the testicles never developed into an open tube, it’s just a solid mass. So the little boogers have no escape, they’re forever trapped. And there is no way to fix it.

After blood work to determine his FSH level, it showed that he most likely produces quality sperm. But until he has the surgery in which they go in and remove a sample, we won’t know for sure. We’ll keep this question updated.

return to top

How did you choose your fertility doctor?
Choosing our fertility doctor, or reproductive endocrinologist (RE) (you’re going to learn some BIG words folks!), was kind of a simple process.

Without leaving the state, there were really only two doctors available to us, and one of which came highly recommended by a friend who had recently given birth to her son via IVF. That is how we came to use Dr. T. And so far, we’re very happy.

This is a really personal process… go ahead and offer up any and all modesty as a sacrifice, because you’ll have not a shred left when this is over. That is why we understand the need to have a doctor you’re comfortable with. Had we not been this comfortable with Dr. T from the get-go, we definitely would have pursued other options.

return to top

How does this site help other IVF couples?
Oh man, it’s not obvious? By baring our souls… again, it’s that whole no modesty thing. When we first started our journey, the one thing I searched for was that “girlfriend’s” viewpoint of IVF. I/we wanted to know about the tears, heartache, days you want to pull your hair out, how your insides feel this dark emptiness every time you see a baby, what the shots are really like… we wanted to know the truth. But it wasn’t out there. And the guy’s perspective? Nonexistent.
Certainly article after article of Dr. Biology’s take on the situation is available, but nothing your best friend would tell you over a coffee or barrel of ice cream.

We’re offering our first-hand account of IVF- every emotion, doctor’s visit, dollar spent (and in our case earned). Every last dirty detail. And hopefully, someone else just like us, will stumble upon it and say “Hey! That’s how I feel!” And maybe be able to take away with them more information than they started with.

return to top

Is my donation tax deductible?
We aren’t accountants, but we’re pretty sure it’s not. And for your sake, we wish it were. Truth is, we’re paying taxes on all those donations, too. Unfortunately, we’re not a non-profit or charitable organization- just a husband and wife who desperately want a baby.
But, in our wild dreams, we hope this site really takes off. And like we’ve said on the site, if we’re left with extra money, we’ll share the wealth. And who knows, maybe then we can become an organization.

return to top

How do I know you’re not out buying hot dogs and fishing poles with all the donations?
Does a pinky swear cut it? We know you don’t know us, but we’re just honest like that. We promise that every last cent is going straight to our medical expenses. We’re clearly displaying every cent earned and every cent spent.
If you need more proof than that, then we encourage you to contact us and we’ll be more than happy to provide you with more detailed information.

return to top

Can I use information found on your site?
Certainly, as long as you pay us, and the people who worked hard to build this site, the common courtesy of referencing where you found the info. If you happened to notice the © symbol, that means please don’t steal our logo, name, photos or any other personal or proprietary information. We’re pretty sure that wouldn’t be very nice.

return to top

Is it safe to donate online?
Our payment services are through PayPal and Amazon.com, and we've never had a problem. Each of these companies are leaders in offering a secure way to make payments online.
But we understand if that isn’t enough. If you question it at all, we encourage you to send your donation through the mail.

return to top

Are you involved with any charitable organizations?
We’re big fans of giving. We know we live a very blessed life and give appropriately wherever we can. Brandi volunteers by mentoring in an elementary school and has had a little sis for nearly a year. Shelton is involved with the Special Olympics. And, we participate in the annual Bowl for Kids Sake and United Way.

return to top

What about your insurance coverage?
Haha, you’re funny! No, seriously, our insurance only covers about $500 of our fertility treatment expenses. That was used at our first appointment… check please! Unfortunately, few states require insurance companies to cover fertility treatment. RESOLVE offers some great info regarding legislation on this topic.
Now, once Brandi’s got a bun, or two, in the oven, maternity coverage kicks in.

return to top

What's going to happen to BabyOrBust once you've reached your goal?
It's not going anywhere! We think that $20,000 is just the beginning of what BabyOrBust will be able to accomplish. We want to educate as many people as we can about infertility and IVF. And we'd love to continue raising money so that we can offer grants to other couples.

return to top